How do you deal with “changes” or “challenges” or things that don’t go as planned?
Your computer crashed… website got hacked… someone else screwed up… you screwed up… relationship issues… family challenges… financial problems… an unhappy client… balls got dropped somewhere…
Do you get…
…frustrated?
…annoyed?
…depressed?
…overwhelmed?
Sometimes things happen that we can’t go back and change. You can choose to be discouraged and allow it to take your focus off who you are, what your goals are, and what you’re here to make happen. Or you can choose to just roll with it.
If you can’t change it… forget what went wrong or didn’t work out and focus on what your next step is to fix it or move beyond it. Anything is fixable if you’re open to more than one option for “fixing” it. You choose your next move.
I promise, life will be much less stressful if you just go with it and trust that whatever comes your way, you can handle. You’re strong enough. You’re smart enough. And it won’t stop you if you don’t allow it to.
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Michelle, all so true! And so important! In my stress management practice, I teach that people should grab a positive thought/experience and hang onto it, which will background the negative thought/experience. Stressportunities abound, but so do marvelous blessings!
Love that, Kebba — marvelous blessings DO abound!
Nice post. My favourite mantra is “Go with the flow, be Zen and let it go”. Visiting from UBC.
Nice mantra, Suzy. :)
Michelle ~ we must have been on the same page when we were writing posts today. Mine: http://www.soul-wiseliving.com/2013/01/20/move-forward-when-things-chang/ was about the 7 things you need to do to embrace when a project doesn’t go quite right. I moved my yesterday and despite planning much went awry. #1 on my list was “accept it as is” Just like you say here….and releasing judgment and asking for support were among my saving sanity!!!
What do they say about Great minds thinking alike? Thanks so much for hosting the UBC ~ it rocks!
Hey Laura, always kinda cool when that happens, isn’t it? :)
And AWESOME – glad you’re enjoying UBC!
Very true this used to trip me up so bad when I worked at home full time it felt like it was ALWAYS something.
There are definitely those days where it seems like one thing after another wants to get in the way. Just more opportunities to prove to ourselves what our priorities are, and make things work. :)
Good advice, sounds like something I tell my kids when I want them to move forward. “Get Over YourSelf” lol. But in all seriousness very good advice.
Sometimes that’s the key. ;)
Things always change, so I don’t worry about the changes, if it happens, the only thing I can do is to accept it. Thanks for sharing.
I agree, Mary. Resistance doesn’t generally change events that have already happened. Best to accept it and move forward.
Great advice! I had a bit of a hiccup on Friday, and felt like pulling a big blanket over my head and quitting, completely. But 2 days later I’m seeing things a little more clearly, and have an action plan to move on.
Some days I’d say, let me join you, Loralee, and I’ll bring the ice cream! :) But getting that next step figured out helps me move forward faster. I’m learning to move to that more quickly.
I work with people under supervision in the criminal justice system and I often tell them that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what YOU make out of what happens to you.
Furthermore, a good portion of that 90% should be focused on a plan to avoid the negatives, and crises so that you can be a change for the good in your own life and the lives of those you care for.
Never give up!
So, so true, Scott. That’s wise advice. We get to make our own decisions and choose how to respond to everything. Smart choices make all the difference.
Scott – those are very powerful words. Thanks for sharing this Michelle. It can be so easy to get caught up in the moment and feel like it’s the end of the world. I see my kids do it all the time. I like to ask them (and myself) at times like this – will this matter in a year or even a week? It helps put things in perspective.
Awesome question for getting perspective, Cindy!
Sometimes things happen that we can’t go back and change. So we need to just move on and take measures to improve the present.
When unexpected things happen, getting frantic never helps. There is always some positive response we can make. This doesn’t mean that the problem goes away and everything will become smooth sailing again. Our choice will determine whether we make things worse or better. Whether the “unexpected thing” is a natural disaster, a computer crash, or misplacing an important piece of paper containing a reading that was intended for use in a worship service NOW, we can choose to move forward in a positive way.
As Scott said, “life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what YOU make out of what happens to you.” If we live as if those figures are reversed, we will always feel helpless. Let’s make the best use we can out of the 90% we have control over.
Michelle, as always — you share a post that just fits the moment! Working through the “how” to roll with it sometimes is not a speedy resolution, but I think I am getting some progress on the chaos I’m working through right now. Coffee dates with a great shoulder are very helpful :D
Great advice. Loving your positivity and inspiration. We do have our days when everything seems like it’s going wrong. We must get through it.
Regards,
Barbara
This is such an important skill to develop. The more we can teach it to our kids and grandkids the better their lives will be. It’s a critical coping skill today when we so much floating around us. I’ve developed a response trigger that is what I call my “triage assessment” routine. When something happens or I’m told about some issue/problem/change – you pick! I ask myself these questions: 1) Do I have to take care of this before I finish what I’m working on? 2) If I choose to not take care of this right now -what is the impact to me? 3) If I choose to not take care of this right now – what is the impact to others? The answers to those questions allows me to make a better choice for timing. Quite often issues resolve themselves when we give them the chance. And whether we know it or not, stepping back and letting things “simmer” often means our minds are better settled to make the choices we need to make.
As you suggested … when things don’t go as planned … I focus on the next move. It’s healthy and empowering. I’ve got to lead by example, yes. Stress, overwhelm, annoyance and other negative emotions keep opportunities, resolutions, solutions, innovations, ideas, answers or your success formula, away from you.
I couldn’t agree with you more. This is so true for so many of us, we try to hold on to things that we know very well we cannot change instead of focusing on how we come come out of our past and build our present. People choose to live in denial and blame everyone else but themselves for what did not work out. Thank you Michelle for sharing this with us truly food for thought!
Regards
Dickens